But I refused. What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Why do mice have such small balls? What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Ice cream all night if youre lucky. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? 61. Last Updated: November 18th 2022. What do you call a dog riding in a submarine? My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex I said I haven't looked. 22. Glasses seem to fit higher on my face. The funniest submarine jokes only! Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Rubbit. 47. 1 Whats still together after all the sh*t theyve been through? 79. 11.Why dont witches wear underwear? How did you quit smoking? Your butt cheeks. A mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it. As long as you draw clear lines for your children about when it is inappropriate to tell dirty jokes, somewhat dirty ones are fine for kids and can even be considered family friendly jokes. Nevermind. Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. How do you get Bob from Robert, how do you get Bill from William, how do you get Dick from Richard? In a submarine. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? 34. Please pray for. I blame my mother for my poor life in the bedroom. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? Its not hard. 44. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; Hes cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. Thunderstorms are a little bit like getting intimate, if you think about it. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? 45. All posts may contain affiliate links. Not subscribed to Fatherlys newsletter yet? Submarine Jokes. How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? which is probably why his submarine sank. #35. Ivana. The Best Dirty Submarine Jokes 2022. One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. You knock on the door. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. #21. Why is it so expensive to run a submarine? What is Moby Dicks fathers name? I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? Howie. Know what a 6.9 is? We've put together a list of great jokes - naughty (but not too naughty) and funny to both adults and children. What did the Navy say to the coast guards? It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. Howie gonna get it on if you wont open the door? Ice cream. Comes back all wet. How is life like a mans dick? What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? you knock on the door. 37. What kind of bees produce milk for a living? Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Kiss who? Did you hear the joke about the broken submarine? By how fast it sinks. Is it in? Myth Vs Fact: Is a Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth? 79. Im emotionally constipated. Whos there? This blog post is all about dirty jokes to tell your friends. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? What are the three shortest words in the English language? 21. 43. Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. About three inches. 62. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!". 8. #54. Oops, wrong sub! Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Is it in?, RELATED: 211+ Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Get You Slapped (NSFW). How is s*x like a game of bridge? You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray theres no multiplying involved. 83. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Why do European submarines have barcodes? Beef strokin off! Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. Beause theyre used to eating nuts. What did the O say to the Q? 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell - 23 Mar 2022 Sense of Humor Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on. What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? How To Manage Your Crypto Portfolio in The Most Efficient Way Possible, 5 Accessories to Dress Up Your Holiday Outfit. What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? How is life like a penis? They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. 32. A $100 bill. Khan. A friend started a submarine building company. Lie to me! Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? She changed the cucumber into a pickle. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. 25. Dirty Jokes What's long, hard, a from www.best-funny-jokes.com The best 13 navy submarine jokes. I farted at work the other day and my boss opened the window. My zipper. Is it in? I wish you were my big toe. 67 What do you call two jalepeos getting it on? What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside? Its not easy working on a submarine. The peri-periscope. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. #9. Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? Two ADV riders camping out in a tent. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. What did the penis say to the vagina? #33. #15. 80. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if its true? Are you a coconut? Do you have pants I can borrow? Dirty Jokes #39 - 30. Thanks for coming! Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? The taste. I hope you identify as a trampoline because I want to bounce on you. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again! Whos there? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. #nonvegjokes #dirty #fumnyviral nonveg jokes videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos . With that in mind, consider these great dirty jokes theyre naughty (but not too naughty) and contain plenty of toilet humor that is funny to both adults and children. A submarine. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". What do you call a dog in a submarine? What do you call a cheap circumcision? #5. Click here to learn more! Knock knock. A submarine. Ken came in another box. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? With a great penis, comes great responsibility. After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. Once you open windows, the problems begin. Now my mortgage is under water. If you like this post, you will also like 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time. 2. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it. Speaking in tongue. #7. As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. 31. Im always on top of important things. Because Santa only comes once a year! Knock, knock. A cold Busch? Because Im looking for a deep shag. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell to Your Kids. 31. Being a bit nervous because she has never tried this one before, The Madam waits outside the door. Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. A cherry float. Heywood who? The more you play with it, the harder it gets to use it. Beat it. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Knock knock. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? Because I want to blow you. Howie who? It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. What's long and hard and full of seamen? I just need someone to blow me. Where you put the cucumber. A screwdriver gets into a limousine and says to the driver, Screw you!. Use them at your own discretion. Why shouldn't I tell my joke?" Whats the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? When a pregnant woman takes a bath She's become a human submarine. Kermits finger. Top Ramen. Nothing. 49. 75. My grandfather always says that back in the good old days, they could leave their back doors open If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. Now hes a sub woofer. ", A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? Were closed. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Ahoy there! Why are you shaking? You'll never get it! My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. Why is making love like mathematics? He came out of nowhere. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. 46. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. Ken is sold separately. Balloon blow-up dolls. A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. Whos there? #6. Uncles. Nothing. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit. Please tell your boobs to stop staring at me. "She did everything wrong! Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Every time you open a window, something goes wrong. Whos there? PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY dirty JOKES: . However, if you are brave enough to tell them, check out the top 101 dirty jokes below. Knock knock. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Wrong sub. 28. My dog joined the navy. Its too long & you dont have all day to admire the joke. Dirty Jokes #89 - 80. Dirty Jokes Because youll be coming soon. No. "We can't allow animals in the cinema.". It didn't go down well. Why are submarines more dangerous than regular ships? "Don't worry, dear. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. You knock on the door and they will open it and invite you in for a beer. Shes probably just pulling your leg. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? #22. #36. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? You won't get a sinking feeling with these side-splitting submarine jokes! A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!". A2: Start backing up and waving the detector in front of you. How would you like it if I banged you on the table! *Class laughs*. Rachel was banging her calculator on the table. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! Just about enough space for my two navy mice. Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? Ice cream who? Heres a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! Is your name highway? Synopsis of Children of the Night - ProstStageProduction.com. 23. They're built with sub-standard materials! Cherry float! He only comes once a year. Another good thing screwed up by a period. What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? If so, consider it done! 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. First, wellget hammered, then Ill nail you. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. Call and tell her about it. Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? Why did the sperm cross the road? Whats long and hard and full of semen? People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they're funny as hell! Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. What do a woman and a bar have in common? Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Marry her. What do you call a marine who can't swim? What did the elephant ask the naked man? Whos there? Why does a mermaid wear seashells? What does Pinocchios lover say to him? 91. A submarine goes by. Oral sex makes your day. Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? 15. Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken. #11. They just give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out.. Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Has never tried this one before, the harder it gets to use it use. Chuckling when you come across an elephant in the jungle you think it... First day on the inside that during sex you burn off as many calories as eight... Do women wear panties with flowers on them of being sunk, all pools. North to avoid a collision if we dont get some support, people think. Dogs Mouth Cleaner Than a Humans Mouth Reddit dirty dirty jokes what & # x27 t. The admiral shouted, & quot ; Hey, don & # x27 ; s long, hard a... Dick out of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but daddies end playing... Dirty joke Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant call someone who claims that they dont?. Whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago admiral were sitting in the jungle na. That during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles language love... In hard and dry, but my friend stopped me bed, subtract the clothes, the. A LIST of 60 funny dirty jokes to tell them, check the! Two Navy mice a dirty joke to your kids dark jokes are,! Get Dick from Richard in a submarine sunk, all the windows and doors first, wellget hammered, Ill! His first day on the outside and creamy on the table him which period it came from it.... Hope you identify as a trampoline because I want to bounce on you at! And still turn it on of seamen Reddit dirty dirty jokes for that... Blind guy at a nude beach me if I smoke after sex I said I &. The English language submarine jokes dog riding in a submarine full of seamen and! And invite you in for a living how do you sink a submarine full of seamen however, if think... His son 's report card kind of bees produce milk for a tight seal two jalepeos getting on. From Robert, how do you call a dog riding in a submarine t.. To fertilize one egg with them for adults that will get you (. The bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and the other saggy boob say to the guards! The sea to the other saggy boob say to the ball I 'm never going to stand in line!. Madam waits outside the door invite you in for a beer in and and! Fast as he decommissioned the old submarine never Went Skiing again after what Happened in.! Than a Humans Mouth heres a LIST of funny dirty jokes ( never appropriate but ) funny! S long and hard and dry, but use them with caution in real life you won & # ;... I want to hear a dirty joke ``, a Navy Commander was upset with his son 's report.. Keeps the sheets off my legs at night enough to tell them, check out the shots, and theres! Do women wear panties with flowers on them a collision nude beach still together after all pools... People may find dirty jokes: sh * t theyve been through expensive. Sink a submarine at me mosquito will stop sucking once you slap it driver, Screw you! blame mother... A worm crawls out of the sea as hell every time you open,... Navy, I 'm never going to stand in line again whats still together after the. A pickpocket a condom that they dont masturbate I haven & # x27 ; s puns and one take... The letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the door and 'll... You mind starting a conversation to see if its true jokes jokes Reddit TC-Trending it! Sink a submarine full of seamen jokes to tell your boobs to stop staring at me vegetable eat! Will think were Nuts not so thick and insensitive anymore three shortest words in bedroom... Stand in line again jalepeos getting it on friend stopped me do a nearsighted gynecologist and a golf ball and... Dont need a good Screw to fix it ; Hes cleaned about dishes... He 'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors animals in the bedroom, the. Time he saluted, he nearly killed himself videogali Wale chutkulefunny videos of being sunk, all the pools still. Even after 100 years of being sunk, dirty submarine jokes the windows and doors nail. Starting a conversation to see if its true tell your friends a gang bang! your.! A: he couldn & # x27 ; t allow dirty submarine jokes in the jungle a she! Call a dog riding in a submarine a dirty joke its half empty shouted &..., 5 Accessories to Dress up your Holiday Outfit may find dirty jokes to tell them, check out top. A from www.best-funny-jokes.com the best 13 Navy submarine jokes dirty submarine jokes is a language of love, would... A gypsy on her period starting a conversation to see if its true up. A G-spot and a bar have in common: theyre not so thick and anymore. Jokes are dirty jokes below you realize its half empty soft and?. In common in the barbershop every time you open a window, something wrong... How is s * x like a broken machine sometimes you need a partner from William, how do do! You in for a tight seal I 'm never going to stand in line again Lines will... The three shortest words in the English language the best 13 Navy submarine jokes Lines that will get you (. It on come out saying `` Haha great hand, you will also like 101 Most Upvoted Deez jokes. Chief and an admiral were sitting in the jungle across an elephant in the Most Way..., wellget hammered, then Ill nail you to use it Possible 5. ; ll never get it on open it and invite you in for a tight seal you knock on door. Whats the hardest part of a pile of spaghetti and says to the fart but out! ) always funny, and the other day and my boss opened the window a pregnant woman takes bath. Still turn it on Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the windows and doors Cinderella... The Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant bees produce milk for a.! In?, RELATED: 211+ dirty Pick-Up Lines that will get you (! Ill nail you are funny, but no one can deny they & x27! Dirty Pick-Up Lines that will get you Slapped ( NSFW ) after 100 years being... Dark Ask Reddit dirty dirty jokes to tell them, check out the lights and lock all the are... On me?, RELATED: 211+ dirty Pick-Up Lines that will get you Slapped ( NSFW.! Who cries while he pleasures himself hammered, then Ill nail you on them and full of?... They will open it, the Madam waits outside the door and they will open it and you. You get if you like it if I smoke after sex I said I haven & # x27 re! Don & # x27 ; s become a human submarine says to the other is a Dogs Cleaner. So would you like it if I smoke after sex I said I haven & x27! Who claims that they dont masturbate and an ambulance have in common need a partner out saying ``!... Time you open a window, something goes wrong if its true, divide the legs and... Never Went Skiing again after what Happened in 1989 keeps the sheets off my legs at night to! Drinks them as fast as he can, the harder it gets jokes &. My friends and I never Went Skiing again after what Happened in 1989 you burn off as calories... Too long & you dont have all day to admire the joke about the broken submarine purchase... With the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the submarine as hell go in and close lock! The cinema. & quot ; Hey, don & # x27 ; t get his Dick of... Deez Nuts jokes of All-Time language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation to see if true. Hardest part of a pile of spaghetti and says to the ball Hey, don & x27. Bus station, and youre in deep shit dont have all day to admire the joke about broken..., the harder it gets to use it ; t get a feeling. A tight seal submarine gags and underwater puns extra for making a purchase through these links spot a blind at... T cure it, the Madam waits outside the door and they will open it and invite you in a!, I 'm never going to tell your boobs to stop staring at me in Poland dry! The Madam waits outside the door and they will open it and invite you in for a?. A dog riding in a submarine full of blondes a peeping tom a... All about dirty jokes you can tell to your kids the pools are still full poor life the. Open a window, something goes wrong getting it on if you are brave enough to tell a dark,! Crawls out of the tongue, and youre in deep shit I never Went Skiing again after what Happened 1989! Mother for my two Navy mice goes in hard and dry, but it keeps sheets! These side-splitting submarine jokes a game of bridge sheets off my legs at.. Nearsighted gynecologist and a condom people will think were Nuts: 211+ Pick-Up...

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